Build a strong support systemĮach spouse needs friends of the same sex who will walk with him or her during difficult times.
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When you’re abundantly full of God’s love, this takes the pressure off your marriage and empowers you to love your spouse regardless of how he or she is behaving.
All four of these areas need to be in balance. That means taking care of ourselves physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally. Remember what we’re told in Mark 12:28-34: We need to love God with all of our heart, soul, mind and strength and to love others as ourselves. This may sound selfish, but it’s important to understand that you can’t fix a broken relationship if you’re feeling empty and exhausted. Allow God to be the source of your happiness. The best thing you can ever do for yourself - and for your marriage - is to develop your personal connection to God through an active faith. When we ask our spouse to be the source of our ultimate fulfillment, it places an unfair burden on him or her and sparks an unhealthy dependency in us.
A surefire way to create an unhappy marriage is to expect your spouse to do what only God can. But in one way or another, they’ll all fall short. Sometimes we’ll try to replace Him with friends and loved ones, success and possessions, work or vacations. When we look to Jesus to be our main source of life, He becomes the highest priority in our lives. (Focus on the Family has a great counselor referral network.) Plug into the source of a real cureĬhrist is the only One who can bring us true fulfillment. A counselor will most likely be able to help you gain insight on the issues you’ve identified as well as see something you may have missed. Do some of your spouse’s habits drive you a little crazy?Īfter clarifying the issues that are making your relationship challenging, talk about those issues with a Christian counselor to get an outsider’s take on your relationship. The list of potential problems is nearly endless. Do you need to deal with baggage from your past or stresses in your present?īesides personal issues, sometimes there are factors about the relationship itself:.Is the unhappiness rooted in your own depression or anxiety?.Use the following questions as a starting place for self-revelation:
Sometimes it’s straightforward: You’ve grown apart and have become more roommates than partners in life. What is at the root of your unhappiness? This can be a tricky question to answer. Why are we unhappy in marriage? How can we repair our broken relationship and find contentment in the midst of the down times? Let me offer a few suggestions. And sometimes, husbands and wives are downright miserable. These vows show that the good and bad are both part of our journey. I take you to be my wedded husband/wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part. I love these traditional wedding vows because they set the right expectation for marriage:
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