Who better to lead the proud nation of Cymru than its greatest creation? As many might not know, I was actually born and raised in the beautiful lands of Wales. I pressed the big “skip tutorial” button the first chance I got and, armed with my enhanced political and tactical knowledge, founded a new dynasty. It is with this revelation that I can introduce thee to an Idiot’s Guide to Crusader Kings 3! “Wales was unfortunately captured by nudist Spaniards within a matter of months”Įmbarking on my first conquest, I did what all rational lieges do when challenged by a densely packed, comprehensive strategy experience.
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“I shall return to Crusader Kings with my two years of PC gaming credentials.” I can reveal that I did just that, and the experiences I have brought home will be sung about by tavern bards for centuries to come. That was until two weeks ago, when a third Crusader Kings was unleashed unto the world and strategy fans everywhere started posting impassioned threads about the logistics of their absurdist, nudist dynasties. Who knew medieval nobility were such avid fans of spreadsheets? And why do I have to micromanage my bid to disinherit my son because he’s ugly? In the end, I managed to last a respectable 20 minutes with the Crusader Kings franchise – a feat I was, understandably, immensely proud of. The only problem? Crusader Kings 2 was essentially like sitting through simultaneous rocket science and brain surgery seminars.
(Who would, no doubt, be very welcoming and not at all snobbish.) Along with my newfound way of life, I decided to try some acclaimed PC classics, which led me to Crusader Kings 2. While I’d brushed shoulders with the console riffraff for years, I figured – now I was an esteemed video game journalist – it was time to join the ranks of the PC enthusiasts. So, naturally intrigued, we sent an idiot to do a king’s job.Ībout two years ago, I decided it was high time I got myself a shiny new gaming PC. Crusader Kings 3 might be good, but it’s the astonishing stories the game produces that have been the real hit.
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